this week on the blog…

Rockwall Counseling and Wellness would love for you to get to know one of our Relationship Coaches, Darla Ferreira. An expert in Laura Doyle’s six intimacy skills, Darla takes the transformation of her own marriage and helps women break through stagnancy in their relationships to gain intimacy and closeness in their relationships. We are so thankful for her expertise and passion! If you're interested in learning more about Relationship Coaching with Darla, click the link at the bottom of her interview.

Tell us a little about your journey to becoming a counselor. Where did you go to school? What are your degrees in? Are you originally from the Rockwall area?

Thirteen years into marriage I found Laura Doyle’s six intimacy skills by accident. At the time, my marriage wasn’t what I had dreamed of. I thought that I couldn’t feel “in love” again and have the intimacy for which I yearned. Our story had a fairytale start, but at one time my husband couldn’t even tell me he loved me. I tried the skills one by one and amazingly my love life changed. There was such a dramatic difference that I knew I had to become a relationship coach and allow as many women as possible to learn about the skills. I went through Laura Doyle’s relationship coaching program where I had to become an expert in the skills, apply them in depth, and prove the transformation in my own life in order to obtain certification.  

I am originally from Cajun country in South Louisiana (so you may hear a slight accent). My husband and I moved as a newlyweds to Texas in 2005 to help a pastor plant a church. I have a Bachelor of Science in Microbiology and minors in Chemistry and Political Science from LSU. I received my Doctor of Optometry degree from Southern College of Optometry in TN. 

What type of therapy are you most passionate about? Why?

I only coach women who would like a breakthrough in their relationship. By the wife showing up differently, the husband changes (even without his conscious effort). It’s a control free process. I’ve seen marriages healed and restored without the husband going to counseling. I help her see that she can only control what’s on her paper, and that’s what we focus on. 

If you could have any job besides the one you have now, what would you want to be doing?

Well, I do have another job. I’m an optometrist most days. I have passion for vision in both optometry and coaching. 

What do you feel the biggest struggle facing your clients is?

The main struggles I try to help clients with are ones I faced myself. I thought I was the most respectful wife out there. I was wrong. Being controlling or disrespectful wasn’t what I thought it looked like. I just didn’t know and wasn’t taught before learning the skills. I didn’t know being “helpful” in male language is being controlling. I thought it was my responsibility to help him with his life and choices. I thought it was his responsibility to make me happy. I didn’t take enough care of myself. I felt resentful. I wanted more time and attention. I can help a woman through a betrayal with dignity. These are the main struggles I help women in my sessions. 

Who in your life do you most look up to? Why?

I look up to my husband the most. I have so much genuine respect for him. He moved here from another country to marry me and now that I give him the respect and gratitude he deserves, he always rises to the occasion. I know I can trust him and turn to him when I need him, instead of trying to do too much. He takes care of our family. 

What is one piece of advice you would give your younger self?

Stop helping your husband, Darla! Read The Empowered Wife. It’s not your husband’s responsibility to make you happy. You’re going to have the marriage you dreamed about. You’re going to have beauty for ashes. 

What would you say to someone who is considering starting therapy, but doesn’t know if it’s worth the time or money?

You can change the whole course of your life. Divorce is expensive. Save your marriage, be less stressed, be a role model of a terrific marriage for your kids, have a peaceful household, and learn how to take care of yourself. It’s totally worth it. You do have to be willing to become your best self though. 

Are you a dog person or a cat person?

Dogs because of the unconditional love they give. I love a cat’s independence though. I’m allergic to both sadly. 

Do pineapples belong on pizza?

I love sweet and savory together, but not on my pizza. 

What’s your favorite place to go out to eat in Rockwall?

Kyoto for sushi

What do you like to do in your free time?

I like to read dystopian novels and watch period piece movies and series. I also love to take naps, shop, and take my little one to the library for story time. 

What’s your favorite time of year?

Fall

Tell us a little about your family.

I’ve been married for 18 years. I thought I was done having children after having an amazing daughter, but at 40, I had a baby boy. They are now 14 and 4. 

What is your favorite place to visit?

I love going on all-inclusive beach vacations to Mexico.  

If you could have dinner with one person, living or dead, who would it be and why?

My great grandfather because my family recently learned some interesting things about him that have left a legacy for my family. 

Are you more introverted, extroverted, or a mixture of both?

I’m introverted.