We all hear tons of talk at the start of a new year about resolutions, goals, “New Year; New Me,” and a thousand other ways to “start fresh.” The New Year can bring a revived sense of purpose, a desire to set new goals or refresh old ones, or even start a new career or hobby. 

All this newness can feel so exciting, and setting and accomplishing goals has even been shown to boost overall mental health and self-worth, but for some people, it can feel daunting or even overwhelming. It can seem like just another task that must be checked off rather than an opportunity.

This mindset can be so common if you’re learning to be gracious with yourself or overcome trauma. Fear of the unknown or failure can hold you back from progress, but there are ways to take the New Year by the reins AND support your mental health goals. 

Take time to be thoughtful about your goals. They should be personal to you. It’s so easy to get swept up in a New Year and hearing others’ goals like “lose 30 pounds!” or “read 15 books!” and set similar goals for yourself, even if they’re not really what you want to accomplish in the New Year. Maybe what you really want is to develop a healthier relationship with food or to find a genre you enjoy reading. Or maybe you want to focus on gaining new skills. Whatever it is, evaluate how this goal fits you, not how you can fit into this goal.

Be as specific as you can. Goals are always more achievable when we are specific about where we’re aiming, so as you think about what you want to do in 2023, instead of “I want to be more adventurous,” think about what that means for you. Is adventure trying new foods? Or traveling independently? Because those are vastly different goals! I find that when I set vague goals, I feel directionless which makes me frustrated. Am I even getting closer to my goal? But when I have a specific, direct goal, I know what I’m trying to achieve!

Give yourself a reasonable, realistic timeframe. I know it can be tempting to say, “I’m going to lose 25 pounds in two months,” or “I will run a half-marathon this summer.” But, being realistic about your timeframe for your goals will be so much better for your mental health! Think about it. Is it really healthy or realistic to lose 25 pounds in two months? Probably not. Realistic goals are motivating, but goals with an unachievable timeline can make us want to quit.

Try to set at least one goal that will boost your mental health in some way. Often when we create goals for a new season, the things we want to accomplish can be a bit draining or demanding. However, learning a new skill, exercising, and decreasing time spent on screens and social media boost our “happy hormones” like dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. Think about how you can incorporate some of these ideas into your track for the New Year!

Start small. Do you ever write something down on your to-do list that you’ve already done, just to get the satisfaction of crossing it off? Me, too! Especially if goal-setting has been a struggle for you in the past, start with small, bite-sized goals. Breaking your larger goals down into smaller ones will give you what I call “check-mark moments” where you get the dopamine rush of checking something off your list. This will help keep you motivated to move forward towards that big, final goal!

Most importantly, be gracious with yourself. You are valuable regardless of what you achieve. Failing to reach a goal does not make you a failure; it simply means you’ll try again when you’re ready. Don’t beat yourself up over goals you’ve yet to reach. And if you do get in that negative headspace, try writing down all the ways in which you’ve succeeded. Seeing it written out always helps me to take a step back and tell myself, “You’re doing a great job.”

Bonus:  Find judgment-free accountability. Having someone to check in with about goals is so helpful to keep us on track, but only if that person is supportive, compassionate, and has our best interests at heart. If you need someone who will listen, help you work through goals, and provide encouraging, realistic feedback, click here to connect with one of our counselors!

By Emily Taylor, Contributing Writer